What I found while trying to “Find Myself”

Liz Fair
3 min readJan 19, 2021

“Find yourself”.
A noble and honored pursuit in this day and age as more & more people reject the status quo set by the boomer generation (grind through school, career, family, & then maybe enjoy life when you retire).

So a few years ago I decided to set out to do exactly that.
I rejected the corporate 9–5, I bought myself a yoga mat & studio membership, and I began my journey to uncovering “Who is Liz?”.

And let me tell you what I expected this would look like:

I thought that one day, after all my inner work, meditation, & healing, I would arrive at my identity: concrete, solid, unmoving — essentially carved into stone.
And this identity would perfectly encapsulate who I am.
It would be so clear, that I would never question myself or my path ever again.
And everyone else would clearly see who I am too.
And “my purpose” would just perfectly unfold right before me.
And life would feel easy.
And the world would be right.

In a word — I thought my identity was just another thing in my life that could give me an illusion of control & a project to be perfected.
I thought finding myself would mean finally finding the most perfect version of myself. And I would never experience confusion, insecurity, or uncertainty again.

But what I found instead was this:

Our identities are NOT some set in stone, final destination.
They are not rigid or unmoving.
They are fluid & changing as the tide.
Dynamic.
Ungraspable.
With a sometimes gentle, and most times rough rise & a fall.

In my attempt to find myself, I found that the richness of who we are is not to be found at the top of some peak — it is meant to be explored, tasted, savored, mulled over somewhere in the big journey of being lost.

There is a freedom in that knowledge.
That we are not some big project to be perfected.
But a work in progress intended to be explored & reintroduced time & time again.
An endless unfolding.

And this is why I create the spaces that I do for women.
So that they can explore themselves.
Unrestrained. Unfiltered. Unapologetically.
So…

Liz Fair

Savoring the scenic way home, and unravelling life through words.